Dictionary.com defines Emotional Intelligence (EI) as the skill in perceiving, understanding, and managing emotions and feelings. EI is a critical competency when it comes to communicating with others. When engaging with others, the first thing to understand is that it’s not always about you. It is important to value and appreciate what someone else is speaking to you, even if you disagree. Proficiency in EI requires intentional listening. Your guard must be down, and you must be willing to hear and connect to what someone is sharing with you. You cannot perceive someone’s emotions through the lens of offense. Otherwise, you are prone to not listening and (potentially) becoming verbally defensive in conversation. Some people struggle with effective communication because they are hindered by their own emotions, which may act as a barrier to solid EI. People generally do not respond well to defensive conversation; but they typically feel safe when they know someone cares about how they feel.
Here are some ways you can develop strong Emotional Intelligence:
- Be honest about your emotional capacity.
- Have a genuine concern for the person with which you engage.
- Be open to how someone feels, even if it doesn’t make sense to you.
- Listen to all verbal and non-verbal communications from another person.
- Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger. Do not respond until you have clarified and processed what someone has shared.
Listen to people through the emotions they communicate. You’ll find a difference in how they respond to you.
